I grew up from
a tribal community in the mountain villages of the Philippines where my ancestry is from
very pagan believers. When Christianity came, it became known to the generation
of my immediate grandparents, to my parents and to me. Like my family, I heard
about Jesus Christ, I was oriented in a Roman Catholic belief, I followed their
tradition, I was attending church, I was praying and praising but never really felt
satisfied as a Christian. I know that Jesus Christ suffered on the cross because of our sins but actually I did not really understand well the bigger meaning of it. When my brother got ill, I was more and more confronted,
I was rather lost, confused and seemed never at peace. I was trying to trust God but I felt a huge inadequacy of
myself and everything. Only then in January this year that I responded to a Filipino friend’s long invitation for me to join their bible study. The topic on that night was about
suffering, this was striking to me as I felt that for a very long time I have been searching for the meanings of my sufferings and frustrations in life. That night was fulfilling. Few weeks after joining
the bible study, I heard the very sad news of my father; he was unjustly imprisoned
in my country. This broke my heart deeply. I felt that my pain and frustrations
were tripled, I was in great distress that I have to access a series of
counselling. However, I continued attending the bible studies. I was guilty, for that many years I own a bible but not actually been reading it. The bible studies and the faith of people in the group were inspiring, not only to me but also to my husband. Few months after, I was eventually invited
to come to this church, and on that particular sunday service it mentioned
about: searching for oneself only is futile because you will never find yourself,
but if you search God with all your heart and soul you will find Him and find
peace in yourself. That message was so direct and clear, that I look at myself, I was a very troubled person and a lost Christian. I thought I know who God is but actually I did not know Him properly, I was blind to my own selfishness, pride,
troubles, anger, frustration, and very little faith. I came to realize that, all
those years, I was trapped to the expectations of myself and my culture and not to what God expected me to be as His child. All those years, I was focused and stuck to my only self and my troubles, that I was actually missing
the purpose of God in them. Our pagan belief was not the answer, neither religion and counseling.
The answer of
life is the wonderful words of God. I praise God, for in my brokenness, God eventually showed me the right path, in directing
me to come here, humbling myself and knowing Him more and more. It is a relief, that all those years, He never abandon me but
instead carried me in His wings. I can feel His love,
His spirit, an inner peace in me. I
testify that whatever happens, I will follow God, for He loves me as He has always have done. Jesus Christ died for my sins, his
pardon never ends and his grace is abundant. Only in Him, I will live forever. For He
says in Matt. 11: 28-30: 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
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